Sleep or Sex

Hey there folks

Being the wife of an off shore worker isn’t easy..

I’m fact that doesn’t just go for, off shore workers, if you have an partner that works away in any job, it’s difficult waiting at home .

Its also difficult for them, especially not having any sex....well I hope not ...

You miss them, and the intimacy..

The children miss them ... you try and achieve these different routines.. one routine when your partner is away and well if your anything like me.. no routine when they are back..

Everything’s seems up in the air....

Your partner calls to say they will be back in a couple of days although my husband very often will surprises me.. ...💖OFM

I plan to be so organised.. house in order, hair done .. legs nice and smooth.... no..

I don’t get a chance to pamper myself.. 😳

Well I tell myself I never have time for myself then I keep putting things off.

Now maybe that all comes naturally to some of us ... how amazing is that everything is in order ...🙌🙌

Well for me that isn’t always the case, I have four kids..I run the house on my own... I am a couples coach and I have another business of (23years) which I’ve stepped away from but still needs some of my attention..

Days can be hard sometimes the noise levels are through the roof,, but they are happy children and that is the main thing..

Wine helps...But so does ... yoga ... meditation, having a a nice bath, keeping a journal each morning helps so much, I write my tasks for the day, and in the evening, my wins for the day.

I also have a coach that keeps me accountable and keeps me on track.

Thank goodness 🙌

When my husband comes home with the biggest hugs... all I can think of is ..

I can’t wait to have a good nights sleep.. young babies can do that to you... (I don’t get a lot of sleep as my 5 year old son has type 1 diabetes)

Now back in the day I would have dropped to my knees as he came in the door .. bursting to please him..

We could spent a couple of days in bed ... ordering in food and making up for lost time ...

15 years later ...it isn’t quite the same story.

We need to work at it more.

So how do you keep that spark alive

Creating habits to nourish our passion discovering a deeper connection, so that we can show our love both emotionally and physically.

Because if you do not invest you energy at keeping the passion alive it will fizzle out.

Hey, we are like every other couple.. we just kinda wing it.. and some days /nights are better then others.

When we plan things, when we are present with each and not messing around on our phones, when we put the healthy habits into practice,When we enjoy putting in the effort

everyone is happier.

Believe me if I am running on empty with no sleep,, yeah I might want sex but I won’t be as enthusiastic as I would be if I was well rested ... Self Care while my husband is away so super important.... I need to make sure I am taking care of myself, Its not an option not to, I've been there and its not an experience I plan to repeat.

So if your taking responsibility of keeping your energy on point, It impacts everything you do.

The thing is with sex, and I hear this a lot of women saying it, its like a chore something they feel they have to do or give to their husband, now this is in happy relationships.

Obviously if you are an abusive relationship its an entirely different story.

Your relationship didn't start out like this, the changes happen for many reason, the one I want to talk about today is Spontaneous Vs Responsive.

When we are falling in love, chemicals associated with the reward circuit flood our brain, producing a variety of physical and emotional responses—racing hearts, sweaty palms, flushed cheeks, feelings of passion and anxiety.

Chemicals at work during romantic love are oxycontin and vasopressin

Oxytocin deepens feelings of attachment and makes couples feel closer to one another after having sex. Oxytocin, known also as the love hormone, provokes feelings of contentment, calmness, and security, which are often associated with mate bonding. Vasopressin is linked to behaviour that produces long-term, monogamous relationships. The differences in behaviour associated with the actions of the two hormones may explain why passionate love fades as attachment grows.

Passionate love is more Spontaneous

Compassionate love is Responsive

There is an inevitable change over time from passionate love to what is typically called compassionate love—love that is deep but not as euphoric as that experienced during the early stages of romance. That does not, however, mean that the spark of romance is quenched for long-married couples.

Can I also say that when you priorities pleasure, when you choose to make intimacy a big part of your life, you can experience all the feelings you had at the beginning if you keep it exciting and playful, keeping the romance alive will keep you having a healthy happy relationship.

It’s amazing the little things that make all the difference like maybe when your husband/wife comes home from work, appreciate her/him.. Organise a first date night that you would both love.

make them a nice meal

run a bath, set some candles out.....

allowing them a long sleep in the morning

unless they are compete c••ts in which case just leave them ... 😂

Sorry I’m joking ... (😂about the bath 😂)

No seriously... we all need to work at it.. don’t let it get to a point of no return..

Give me a shout if you would you like to work with me to achieve better sex and mind blowing connection.

Break down the barriers and get communication on track again ... !!!

When we were going through our dry patch of want of a better word,

I asked myself and each other what was gonna happen in the future if we didn't make the effort?

Why don't you ask yourself the same question...!!!